Being a middle child is not easy. I understand how you feel because I am a middle child too. You may feel that you have been ignored. You may be wondering why you have to wear Robin’s old clothes when you were little and follow things that works well for Robin and applied the same to you. You may feel you are not in the limelight of anything. Papa and mama have probably forgotten about you.
I don’t blame you. I was once having the same kind of thoughts like you. You are not alone. And because I understand, that’s why I am sensitive to your feelings.
On 8 June 2010, we were at the subway platform of Paris Porte de Clichy RER platform. You guys were so confident by my good navigation that everyone followed me without question. The direction I gave led to a wrong platform. We were supposed to go to Champs de Mars Tour Eiffel. It was late and platform was very quiet. Suddenly, you asked me, “Mama, I think we should go to the platform opposite.” None of us realize a mistake after 7 minutes wait. I took out the subway system train system map and studied the complicated network with 13 Metro lines and 3 RER lines and trains to different destinations share the same platform. Alas, thank you Dominique, we did not end up at a wrong place and wasted precious time. Mistake could lead us to frustration, we might miss the last train and had to end up changing our plans or take a cab which could be extremely costly after midnight, At a place which we were not familiar and had language barrier, we tend to make mistakes due to ignorance. I quietly admire your observation. I don’t know how you find out. You didn’t have a map. Everyone was thankful to you for saving us the agony of losing our way.
I started to notice what you said. Your views on politics and current affairs makes my jaw drop.
As the years passed things started to get very challenging and sometimes I found myself in hair-tearing situations. The mess you made, the examination result, the way you talked to me, the tantrums you threw, and thousand and one things you did that stressed me out. I agonized over many of the decisions I had to make when it came to discipline. I have had many arguments with papa. But in time we learnt to parent as a team. We still have our differences of opinion but have learnt to listen to each other.
You may be confused about your identity, are you being treated like an adult or a child? I don’t know how your big-built affect you as you look like a giant next to a tiny boy of your age. Of course, there are people who irks you so much are nothing but just pain in the ass.
Take action – you can tell the person to stop being a pain or tell someone of authority, a teacher, parent, if all efforts do not bring about improvement. Sometimes, change can’t happen overnight.
Be patient and remember to remind yourself.
You can’t control the environment but you can only control your reaction to it.
If you cannot change your environment, change your attitude.
It is easier to change yourself than to change another person.
Dominique. You have a bright future if you apply techniques to help you achieve your goal – the first turning point is PSLE.
Be focused. Don’t let any kind of pain hinders your success, block your path.
Quote from Jim Rohn:
- We must all suffer one of the 2 things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.
- Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got.
This journal was extracted from my Gratitude Journal Pamela dated November 2010, a love letter required by Super Teen Holiday Camp.