My dear son Robin,
13 years ago on the night of 11 March, Papa and I went to KK Hospital for a tour to familiarize with the newly-opened hospital. After reaching home, I started my first bout of pain but dismissed it as a normal tummy-ache. I went to toilet throughout the night but did not realize that you were on the way to this world. See how muddle-headed your mum can be, I only realized I was going through labour pain in the morning. It seems like yesterday.
You are first child and everything that i “tried” on you is the first time for me – thanks for being a guinea pig to save your younger brothers the agony from doing the same things.
In your early years, my inexperience in parenting and lack of condusive environment in your pre-school years (because we were moving house) could be partly responsible for delay in speech because you did not go to school. You went through an agonizing childhood having to be tested and wrongly diagnosed as autistic child. The kind of damage it had on you had probably affected your self-confidence.
Today, after 13 years of looking back, I can’t help but smile. It is a feeling beyond words – a mixture of bitter and sweetness. Being a working mother of 3 boys, having to juggle multiple roles, I am not sure whether you see me as a good mother. Son, I’m still learning…
You excelled in PSLe and entered the school of your choice proving that you can achieve if you want to. Your compliant and gentle nature has made my parenting job not so challenging but I would say it was not a breeze.
You understand and listen to advice. However, every coin has 2 sides and same for personality depending on the degree of it. Remember, you are the master of your own destiny and all the things that you are doing now is for you, not for other people. Learn to say “no”. Recognize the situation whereby a “no” is better than “yes” to prevent you from being manipulate by others and becoming slave of tools that supposedly help or entertain you.
You’re such a sweet boy. Paul’s wife (Paul is papa’s ex-boss, we met in London) said she can tell from your actions you were caring for your little brother, Clement, when we visited Natural Science Museum.
You’ve been to many countries. Have you been wondering why Mama like visiting hardship countries? I believe teaching you life skills is far more important than to achieve academically. How to stay resilient in the face of adversity, problem-solving skills are the key things. I hope by traveling to countries which are less advance than Singapore, you will learn that one does not be rich materially to be happy. The key is the mindset.
We live our life in phases. When one ends, another begins. Change is constant, unavoidable.
Life is short so seize the moment and live life to the fullest, have no regrets.
This journal was extracted from my Gratitude Journal Pamela dated November 2010, a love letter required by Super Teen Holiday Camp.